because I don’t get lost in non-embarrassing ways

“You look like a drunk driver! Good thing nobody’s on the road this early.”

I had an adventure taking roomie to the train station at 5:30 this morning (you know, because everything seems like an adventure at that hour). Apparently, I only know how to drive after I’ve had a chance to eat breakfast. In my defense, roomie’s navigation skills weren’t quite up to par either, and I suspect she HAD eaten breakfast.

“But there was a little building in the middle of the road! I couldn’t tell which side to drive on.”

“It was on the side of the road dear, not in the middle.”

“Well, yes. But there were train tracks and sidewalk on the other side, and it looked a little bit like the road. I got confused.”

Amazingly, we mostly arrived without (major) incident and in plenty of time. I insisted on walking around the train station to make sure she got onto the right platform, not because I didn’t think she would be able to find it but because, if anyone drops me off at the train station, I always hope they will do this for me, and I’m trying to pay it forward in advance. (Unlike Kass, I probably WOULD get lost trying to find my platform.)

However, when I got back in my car, my GPS wouldn’t wake up (I can’t blame her, it was really early), so I had to start the drive home under my own steam. No problem! I can use reason and logic to compensate for my nonexistent sense of direction. Since I had turned right to get to the train station, I thought it would make sense to turn left. Right?

But no. When I turned left it just looped me around to the train parking*. So I drove through there and tried again. With the same result.

All in all, I probably drove around the circle about 10 times, but just so we’re clear, I DID realize what I was doing after about the third time; I just didn’t have any idea where else to turn because right HAD to be the wrong direction. I could feel the bus passengers and cab drivers watching me make my laps. “Hey guys, I’m just taking my car out for a little early morning exercise! Just what all normal people like to do at 6 in the morning!”

After a while, my GPS took pity on me and started working again. Turns out we were supposed to turn right. Who knew?

 

*The train station is actually part of BWI airport, so it was bigger and more confusing than your average train station.

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