my daily mad dash

There’s this hectic process that I scramble through at the end of every work day during my attempt to get from work, which technically ends at five, to the five o clock WOD at crossfit.

Here’s how to be in two places at once:

Sneak out of work at least 15 minutes early via the emergency exit. Of course, half the office still sees you leaving early, and, what’s worse, they know you’re being sneaky about it because of your abnormal exit choice.

Make all possible haste in your drive from work to the box. If you’re truly accomplished you may eventually get a ticket in the mail with a photo of you running a red light and an order to pay $75. This is a mark of your dedication; be proud of it. Try not to swear too much as you write the check.

When you get to the box, make a beeline for the bathroom (which is, of course, at the furthest possible point from the door) to change clothes. If Larissa has beaten you to it and is already changing in there, don’t hesitate to use the boys’ bathroom. But remember to lock the door, because the boys apparently don’t like to knock.

Now, the fastest possible way to change involves stripping off ALL of your clothes at once and throwing them in a heap on the floor. I always like to take a moment here to stop and reflect, standing (almost) completely naked in the freezing cold bathroom at the gym. It’s always nice to pause at rather unusual moments and remind yourself, I love my life.

If you have to pee, now is a great time to do it, because you’ll save time NOT having to deal with your pants. Then you dump ALL of your gym clothes in another pile on the floor, so you don’t have to root through your bag to find the bottom layers. Now you’re still naked but have TWO rumpled piles of clothes on the floor in front of you. Get dressed in a hectic fashion, pray that you didn’t grab the sports bra that takes five minutes to fasten properly, and then shove the pile of work clothes unceremoniously into your bag. Try and scan the room on your way out to make sure you haven’t left any bras or socks lying around (inevitably, you WILL leave something at some point and feel mortified when you only realize this much later).

Mission accomplished! Sneak out and put your shoes on while reading the white board and pretending nobody’s noticed you’re five minutes late.

Do it again the next day. 

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