Actually, another f word comes to mind at the moment, but it was SUPPOSED to have been a fantastic Friday. For once, I not only had plans like a cool person on Friday night, I actually had to CHOOSE between plans (or else do that thing where you try to split your time between two groups of people, which never really works out). The friends from work were going to happy hour at the local favorite and the friends from CrossFit were doing some sort of Korean grill after the last WOD. In fact, I say this in the past tense, but they are all still doing those things. Only I’m not.
Because my new best friend the February Flu decided to pay me a long overdue visit last night. Woe is me, I know, I know. People get sick, whatever. But I had cool plans!! You don’t understand how infrequently I get to interact with the word ‘cool,’ or how pleased I was feeling that I have all these wonderful, real-world friends now that I no longer have the context of school in which to meet people.
So I’m sick. Big deal. I decided to cancel the cool plans, but I still had to go through with the uncool plans of dragging my ass out of bed and going to work. I would have stayed home from that too, but I had two proposals due at three this afternoon, and since I hadn’t had time to start them until, oh, three yesterday afternoon, they weren’t exactly very polished. Or very finished. Or even very much started.
By the time I turned them in at two-thirty, my mental state was (read: still is) quickly approaching mush. So I left to go home and take a nap. But I was pretty hungry by then too (somehow, being sick always seems to bolster my appetite while at the same time sapping me of any willpower as far as eating healthy is concerned.) I decided that I MUST have some oatmeal when I got home, but I was also having the maddening attack of depression/guilt that always accompanies not being able to go to CrossFit on a day that I had planned to. This situation makes me inordinately grumpy but also makes me feel even worse about eating food that I shouldn’t. Like oatmeal.
I decided that oatmeal was no longer necessary, but I MUST have the closest substitute I could think of: namely, creamy buckwheat (a terrible misnomer, as there is no wheat involved). However, I don’t happen to have any, and the usual grocery stores have been failing me in my quest for this item.
Enter, Trader Joe’s. It’s on the way home, so I stopped to check. And although they also did not have buckwheat of any variety, I was getting so hungry that I suffered an impulse-buy attack and left with a bag of banana chips so I could munch on the way home. They’re really not much healthier than potato chips, but they APPEAR to be, which makes it all better. So while I was distractedly munching on my banana chips and feeling guilty about the 459,038 grams of fat I was consuming along with guilt over the money I’d impulsively spent when I had a kitchen full of food at home, I hit somebody else’s car driving out of the parking lot.
Don’t drive sick or hungry, people.
This was turning out to be one heck of an expensive bag of banana chips. After exchanging insurance informations and such with what turned out to be an extraordinarily pleasant human being (a trying task in itself since I couldn’t find my insurance card), I took my rage on the banana chips by consuming half the bag. And you know what? The next time you get angry at inanimate objects, try eating them. It helps.