bad-for-you food is the best

My butt hurts y’all. I’ve been waddling around for the last three days periodically clutching at my bum like it’s going to fall off. Okay, I had to get that of my chest. On to things I’m enjoying more than my sore behind.

Homemade walnut butter. Where has this been all my life?! The homemade stuff is way better than store bought, because you can throw things like cocoa and honey and coconut butter and sea salt in there.  I’ve been eating it like ice cream. Seriously, for the last three nights I’ve been lying in bed with my book in one hand, a spoon in the other, and the container of walnut butter balanced on my boobs.

This doesn’t strike me as a healthy life choice.

Last night, I finished the batch that I made on Sunday (I didn’t make THAT much, just so you’re not judging me too badly), so I thought I was out of the woods as far as resisting temptation goes. But then I just made more tonight! I have no will power. In fact, I tried to make a BIGGER batch than I did last time, but even though I added more walnuts, I somehow ended up with the same amount. It may have had something to do with how much I ate during the process.  It takes a lot of food processing and scraping and food processing and scraping to make nut butter. I got bored. Taste testing ensued.

Of course, I’ve found a way to thwart the system. Sure, I eat paleo. That’s healthy, right? What’s the most unhealthy food I’m allowed to eat? Nuts and honey all the way baby! Whatever. I’m not in it to be skinny. Which is good, since I had to wear my short shorts to CrossFit today (laundry crisis again) and was noticing how not skinny my thighs are looking. Good thing I don’t care about that, right?

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