a crossfit insult session (or thank goodness my friends all love me)

“Guys, I can’t do it. I just can’t. I won’t be able to do this one.”

This was me on Thursday night. The topic of discussion was chest-to-bar pull ups. Fact: I’m dreadful at REGULAR pull ups.

My wonderful CF friends: “We know you can.”

“Just try it again.”

“The last time you tried one was weeks ago.”

Dawn: “I didn’t think I could do them either, and I just did one.”

Me: “Wait, if Dawn can do it, then I must be able to do one.”

Everyone else busted up laughing. “Anna! That’s terrible!”

Whoops, did I just say that out loud? Hmmm, sounds kind of insulting to Dawn’s pull-up ability. I’d better try to make this better.

Me: “No! I just mean Dawn’s really bad at pull ups too.”

What the heck?! ‘Really bad’? Was that supposed to make it better because I said I’m ALSO bad at pull ups. Everyone already knows that. I need to review my definition of backpedaling.

Everyone else was doubled over laughing now, including Dawn, who was also starting to look a bit indignant.

Dawn: “Hey!”

Me: “Well, whatever. It’s okay! Dawn says I have fetus fingers all the time!”

Oh dear. Bringing up unrelated past insults. Way to go Anna. That was a really snappy comeback.

Dawn: “Because you do! Look at her fingers.” (She holds up one of my hands to demonstrate for the audience we’ve gathered.) “See? They’re little baby fingers.”

Oh, thank goodness! She just brought this conversation down to my level. Now we’re just insulting each other. This I can handle.

I don’t actually remember where the conversation went after that. I know at one point Dawn asked me whether I had managed to snag one of the skinny bars for my thrusters to “accommodate my disability.” But she was offering me her skinny bar in the process, so I couldn’t even pretend to get terribly insulted about it.

And I did the chest to bars. I had five or six no-reps, which was a significant number considering we didn’t have to do that many in a set, but I got through 15 of them, which is 15 more than I thought I would.

Okay, now the open is over. I promise every other post will not be about CrossFit any more. Probably. Maybe.


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