getting worked up about upsetting things but for the wrong reasons

How does driving 73 miles per hour in a 65 mph zone even count as speeding? That is like the opposite of speeding. It is driving responsibly without pissing people off by driving like I’m 90. And there are so many ways in which I already act like I’m 90 (falling asleep at parties, for instance) that my driving really doesn’t need to get added to the list.

I’m still visiting at my parent’s house for Thanksgiving, and I thought that it might be fun to go WOD at my adopted PA crossfit box this morning. And on my way there I GOT PULLED OVER. For driving at exactly the same speed as everyone else. At first, I couldn’t figure out why the heck I was even getting pulled over. Then I started trying to figure out if I could still get to crossfit on time as long as I got this ticket business sorted out quickly.

Unfortunately Mr. Cop was not interested in moving very quickly this morning, and I couldn’t think of a subtle way to hurry him along. Also, I couldn’t remember where my insurance card was, which probably wasn’t helping matters all that much. Mr. Cop kept telling me to calm down and that it was “just a speeding ticket,” which was making me fairly disgruntled for two reasons. The first reason: I was already VERY CALM. In fact, I almost wished him a good morning when he walked over, but then I was like, “Hmm I’m clearly getting a ticket for something, so perhaps good is not the most accurate adjective I could use,” and by the time I had decided to skip the adjective altogether and just say, “Morning,” it was too late to say anything at all. The second reason I was feeling a little pissy about our conversation is that I already knew it was JUST A SPEEDING TICKET. What the hell else would it be? And even if I was getting at all distressed about the whole thing, which I was NOT, how would telling me that it was JUST a speeding ticket make it any less distressing?

I wanted desperately to point these things out, but thankfully, my polite and socially acceptable alter ego (you know, the one who keeps me from being rude to telemarketers even when I REALLY want to) kicked in and saved the day.

Except that my day wasn’t saved at all because, besides the fact that I have to pay $130 (which I do not have), I was also too late to go to crossfit. Once I grasped this fact, I actually did become distressed, but it was too late for Mr. Cop to notice and feel justified for having called me out on it ahead of time. Now that I was feeling so disgruntled about my life, I wanted to crossfit even more. And if it had been my box, I would have shown up anyway. The sight of me barging in the door 15 minutes late and in a towering rage is a pretty common occurrence at home. They’re used to it. They’ve seen worse. But I thought it would be a bit rude to behave this way around people who don’t already love me. So I turned around and drove home without getting in my crossfit fix. And I was upset about it for the rest of the day. And I’m still upset about it now.

Is there something wrong with me? The $130 is going to have a much greater negative impact on my life than one missed wod. I really need to get my priorities straightened out. 


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