Yesterday was my last day at work. Weird. I guess I might miss my crew of barely disguised hooligans. When I told my dad I was switching jobs, he responded with, “But you’ll never have as good of stories at another office.”
As excited as I am about the new job, I keep wondering what I’ll do without work Mom and Dad. Without Joshie, Snuggles, JohnnyG, and Other Joshie. A while back my best work buddy and I decided that we should be called Team A when we work on proposals together, for Team Awesome, obviously – and also because both of our names start A. This is what we do. Make up dump shit that only seems logical to people who spend that much time together.
There may be people I will miss less (like Cupcake, for instance), but what will do when there aren’t code names I can use to complain about the people who annoy me? What will I do if there ARE code names but I don’t know them because I’m not one of the cool kids anymore?
My pals seemed kind of down about me leaving yesterday. But we’re not the type of friends who tell each other stuff like, “I’ll miss you”; we’re the type of friends who make fun of each other for wearing too many stripes, eating fish, walking loudly, or pretty much just existing. So instead of saying something nice, the boys told me, “Didn’t you know, you’re required to buy everyone snacks on your last day?”
Of course, at our office, you’re required to supply snacks if you’ve been there less than 90 days, or if it’s your one-year anniversary, or your birthday, or if you mention food around someone who’s hungry, or if you get there late in the morning. And snacks never actually get bought. But this time I decided we would take a field trip to the grocery store for ice cream sandwiches.
After lunch, I was feeling a little sad (and bored), so for a pick me up, I rearranged JohnnyG’s things in a nice zigzag pattern on the floor next to his desk. I thought it was pretty surprising that he actually left me alone at his desk even though he’d seen me walking over there, but I realized a little too late that it was because he had raced over to my desk to dump out the entire contents of my purse.
What will I do if everyone at the new office is NORMAL and doesn’t want to behave like a child with me?