- So I start the new job tomorrow. Nothing bad ever happens on your first day of work, because nothing is really expected of you on your first day of work. Right? I keep thinking about all the first days in my life: first day at various jobs, first day of college, first day of crossfit. I keep thinking about them and how awkward I managed to be on every occasion. But they all turned out to be quite good in the end.
- Who invented 5-hour energy? It tastes like cough syrup. Is it made of pure caffeine? Never again. Bleargh.
- I was standing in the living room just now trying to think what to do next and decided, out of the blue, to do 50 push-ups right then and there. Am I a compulsive exerciser? If so, is this a problem? I need some therapy.
- Had to take a cold shower because it’s about 84 degrees in here and I am too lazy to go around closing all the windows to turn on the AC. Yes, I just did 50 pushups for no reason but am unwilling to spend 5 minutes walking around the house closing windows.
- A friend told me that I looked like a body builder because I got so tan while I was at the beach last week. I was delighted with this complement at first, but upon further thought . . . have you seen those lady body builders??? They are terrifying.
- I ran six miles this morning and it felt like a long run. How times change. I remember when I used to use a six mile loop for my long runs. The first loop was like a warmup.
- I love cheerios and I want to eat some RIGHT NOW. But I ate such crap while I was at the beach, so I’m trying to resist. Ugh, willpower. It’s a little lacking. I’d say there’s a 60/40 chance cheerios will happen before the end of the night. Did I write that right? 60 percent chance that I WILL eat the cheerios that is.
Wish me luck tomorrow! I will have many embarrassing stories of my bumbling incompetence to share this week.